| Steps 
                          to change - Michael Hargrove
 There are four stages of learning each of us go through. 
                          These are the exact same steps we all take in order 
                          to learn how to walk, or how to play, or how to acquire 
                          any new skill or habit.
 The first stage is called unconscious incompetence 
                          or pre-change. That's when we don't know how much it 
                          costs us to not do the things we don't know we should 
                          be doing. This stage becomes a reoccurring roadblock 
                          to success for those who consider themselves an "expert." 
                          And when we think we know it all, we tend to be less 
                          open to new ideas and, consequently, that tendency eventually 
                          stops the learning process all together. Both of which 
                          are the kiss of death in our careers. Hence, it's important 
                          that we acknowledge the profound difference between 
                          being an expert and owning a level of expertise. The 
                          "expert" seldom attends any seminars or workshops. 
                          While the "student" knows that learning events 
                          outside the work place are fertile ground for taking 
                          their career to the next level of success. The "expert" 
                          rarely reads books or other publications about their 
                          field anymore. The "student" is an absolute 
                          pig for that knowledge and information. The "expert" 
                          constantly looks for reasons why new ideas or strategies 
                          won't possibly work and often uses phrases like; "the 
                          right way" or "the best way " which is 
                          generally the only way they know. The "student" 
                          knows that nothing works all the time and rarely will 
                          any one thing be effective for everybody but if it's 
                          working for someone else, then maybe it will work for 
                          him or her too.   Which one are you?The second stage of change is called conscious incompetence 
                        or waking up. That is when we do know how much it's been 
                        costing us to not do what we now know we should have been 
                        doing. This is the single most important step to change; 
                        the broadening of our awareness. Fortunately, once we 
                        get to this stage, we seldom ever go back to the first 
                        one. 
 Einstein once said, "The more I learn, the more I 
                        realize I don't know." Socrates once said something 
                        to the effect that, "The only thing I know, is that 
                        I know nothing."
 
 If we don't fall victim to simply dismissing a "new 
                        way" the first time we hear about it, then the next 
                        and third stage of change is identified as conscious competence 
                        or choosing change. This is where we struggle to master 
                        what we now know we should do. This is usually the most 
                        awkward of the four stages where we feel the stiffness 
                        and strangeness of trying something new or different. 
                        This is also the stage where most children excel and most 
                        adults fail.
 
 We need to follow the example of that child learning to 
                        walk. After each fall, we need to ask ourselves what we 
                        learned, what could we do differently to get a better 
                        result, and how quickly can we get back up and try it 
                        again? Take it from someone who personally knows; if you 
                        fail enough, it stops hurting! In this, the third stage 
                        of owning a new skill, we may also feel discouraged or 
                        disheartened as we fall back into old habits or old ways 
                        of doing things.
 
 It is perfectly natural to feel and do just that, but 
                        with patience, perseverance, and practice we will get 
                        to the fourth stage of change, which is unconscious competence. 
                        This is when the things we know we should do come naturally 
                        and become a habit. We no longer have to struggle with 
                        a new skill. We own it. This is where techniques stop 
                        being simply techniques and actually become a part of 
                        us. We no longer even have to consciously do something. 
                        It simply becomes a natural thing for us to do.
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